The Canine 10 Commandments
From The Dog's Bible...

And the owner spake unto the dog saying:
Thou shalt love thine owner, and shalt not heed the commands of another. Neither shalt thou pretend not to hear thine owner, and run hither when thou art called.

Thou shalt not value thy ball or thy squeeky toy before me. Neither shalt thou exault thy feed bowl, from whence cometh thy sustance. For is not thy kibble but a token of thy Master's affection and his unending love? Would thou bite the hand that feed thee, thou shalt be cast out.

Thou shalt not bark in vain. Thou mayest bark at the Mailman, and also at the stranger outside of thy Master's gate, but thou shalt not bark at thy Master who is clothed in a funny hat. Neither shalt thou bark at thy Master's Wife, nor at thy Master's Children, nor any of thy Master's household.

Remember Saturday morning, and keep it Holy. Five days doest thy Master labor, and on Saturday, thou shalt not wake thy master before 5:00 AM.

Honor thy Master and his House, that thy days may be long upon the earth. Chew not upon thy Master's shoes, nor his table, nor thy Master's pillows. For hast thou not been given rawhide and chewtoys in abundance?

Thou shalt not kill. Neither thy Master's chickens, nor the small rodents thy Master's children keep as pets. Yea, even thy neighbor's cat thou shalt not kill, but thou mayest chase daily, even unto the topmost parts of the tree.

At night, thou shalt not spread out upon thy Master's bed leaving him no room. Neither shalt thou refuse to let thy Master sleep upon his bed, lest thou be shut up into thy crate.

Thou shalt not steal, neither from the countertops, nor from the small child. Neither shalt thou eat of the garbage, for this is vile in thy Master's sight.

Thou shalt not bite thy Master's neighbor, for that is wickedness, and thou shalt be cast into iniquity.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's yard. Do not relieve thyself at thy neighbors, for such is the cause of much dispute.

meanwhile...